the past ...

you know the word detachement ? ..as docs, we only remember retinal detachement when we hear this word ...but practically ,in real life, this word is not only for the retina..it can be for the soul as well.i remember when i was 17 yrs old , i used to be a hard working student in my class,yet i was only concerned about the scientific parts of anything...yes i know that the whole universe is built on science and the modern science and tech prove that every day of our lives..yet i have forgotten a great deal of really what life is ...science in its literal meaning has not given me the real meaning of life itself..i lost along my way of becoming a doctor the real attachement to life..i became detached..and suddenly after graduation , that was even without a party ,i was hit by the society ..how being away for so long can help ?..i was away for a long time with my books and patients and inner thoughts..i was detached...i asked god for help ,coz i really want to feel alive..i was half alive half dead..i have to step on my feelings to get along with long hard working hours at the emergency room ,yet ..this half life i was maintainigng was doing no good for me any more..so i started to catch with what i was detached from:the ground,the air,the sky,the past history ...dad was telling me that i have missed a great deal coz i never stadied history,i tell him dad i was screwed in medschool,how am i supposed to listen to past history? i never even carre about it in emergency sheet!..that was true i was screwed!..i was suddenly getting on the track to start to understand what is history when i was struck by this movie called enemy at the gates..i never know this story,how am i suppose to know it ? from medbooks?..well , i guess it is never too late