very funny

how to be and feel modern?..yeah yeah a hard question but the answer is easy...people from the third world countries coming here for studying for the phd they want to be modern..ok , how ?
1- do say funny words about people around you and always always find the religious subjects to laugh at
2-wearing higab here is funny , take it off!
3-i cut my hair here for 4000 yen , back in egypt i cut it with 200 yen !poor country..laughter
4-i have lots of cds, this one will suit you best , koran besot 3abdel baset 3abdel samad..laughters
5-this is not red wine , this is 3aseir 3enab..a7a ..red wine is always taken with meat ya bent el gahla , wel white with fish elli 3ammala te7eshi feih ..3aseir 3nab..my ass!
6-pork ? this ain,t pork..everything red here is meat to me ....ya mama there is a section here for meat , for chicken and for pork..why you go and buy it and you are muslim ?no no , here everything red in meat..tab ok mesh 7albess red
7-always talk about the religion in funny ways..for e.g...where are you ? she is in the shopping mall for instance..ana ba7eg !
this is not funny
8-always drink wine and feel fine..always get materialistic..always buy things and consume products
here i find no islamic centers for sure , dana keda akoun ba7lam,keeping ur relation with god is a choice and a real test down here,if you are strong in ur religion , you will not find trouble in keeping ur rituals,if u are weak , they slightest shack coming to you will make u start doing whatever you like..everything here is in front of ur eyes we 3ala 3einak ya tager..wanna strip? go ahead..wanna spend nights with hoockers? well everywhere and there are specific shops for that and very near to where am staying...wanna get ham and wine and whisky and every shit you like ? it is sold in the supermarkets every where ..wanna gamble ? gambling machines every where ...just devote urself to the devil inside you and you will find no worry to find whatever you want from drinking , eating and anything..wanna get a boy,girl friend ok do it ..everything is allowed and no pressure upon you , no religion is facing you , no society that will start talking about you...this is the real test about ur religion and the way you choose to live..as i always say everything is a choice..you can choose whatever u like in egypt or in every place ..here i must apply 2 things, get attached to my religion and not to listen to demons down here with make up on their ugly faces or trust their laughs and smiles ..second,to keep my faith in god the only guide for me down here..it was a shock for me truely to see people here that i knew from egypt getting themselves like that driven by their own demons, they drink ,they eat pork and it is their choices..i once ate a chocoloate coming from germany and it was excellent..it contained syrup that i knew afterwards that this was champagne or whisky..this was a mistake and i never knew it containes this shit..this happened many years ago , i can say about 10 yrs ago or something , when i remember it i ask forgiveness from god..i thought this was a mistake..this is like a baby gash compared to what others do here , and with their own hands...zaha2toko menny ma3lesh , bass dola bo2ein kanno ta3benny awi..1-you must choose very well your friends, extremely well, zai ma sayedna mohamad 2al , this is very much needed here..2-you should hold on to ur religion and avoid any temptation...wallaho al mowafak...mafeish islamic center here, feih bouza waraya bass..ya 7alawto