are we going to say goodbye?

or am i going to stay ?...i kept thinking about this quiz specially that am still waiting for another notification to meet the head of surgical departement down here..still no email or no fone call..waiting kept me on my nerves..on the balcony i was thinking, while cooking i was thinking , taking a bath while thinking..i dressed and went for a walk may be this will sooth me a little , do not wanna make more comparison between what i had in cairo and what i wish to have down here..the sun was up high in the sky and the weather was extremely beautiful , i walked by the itoyokado and joypolis..i took first right turn and walked by the nishigawa river..my thoughts were still lingering in my mind..i met fredrick by chance and he was going as usual to the market , omotatcho our favorite,but i was heading towards the library..the woman told me we are working with the rules so am supposed to take 2 things only, i took the movie falling in love by robert de niro and the prince of egypt..went out after reading the herald tribune asian edition , all about their economy and stock markets..some comic strips caught my eyes ,that made me smile..it is x-mas time and the shops are making discounts and am having only 2 more weeks to go , aiming to reach egypt safe and sound , with happy news hopefully, before the eid..i passed again by the river and went to the omotatcho pathway..shops are on the lt and rt sides selling goods for x-mas..i recited the prayer for entering the market and i stepped inside..this is friday , the last day of the week , there are few people and some couples here and there..i passed by the places i liked coz omotatcho is the best place for me in okayama , unline mr.donuts that i hate..i kept my eyes moving here and there..i remembered the disc and dvd shop..i was looking for the japanese guy who is working in a diamond shop, he was the first guy to make me wear a diamond ring ,this was really touchy coz i kept asking myself am i gonna meet someone someday and he will make me wear a diamond ring from myanmar?..this is ridicoulous and i must be realistic..i passed by the tenmaya mall and kept looking at the models where i have chosen a design that i will make back in cairo inshallah for my good meetings with professors,hopefully..i passed by the green tea icecream shop..i bought few presents for my parents back in cairo ..while passing and trying to hold on , i felt am about to cry..i had good times here,life is easy here unlike back in cairo ..i remembered cairo and what has happened to me ..i remembered also my situation there..i thought about if i will not get any chance here,i mean if everything will be blocked in my face like with the china trip or like the many doors that were shut in my face in egypt.what will be my plan for my future? what will be the next step?..the music played around me with the famous song , moon river..i couldn't hold my tears no more and i had a running nose..the handkershif was enough to hold my tears and still in my heart i am feeling the bitterness ..i kept moving ,walking i know will sooth me , i reached the maruzen library where i used to be , i know i have bought lots of books from here in these 2 months till the employees there knew me well..i have found at last translated books from japanese literature..my famous japanese writer, haruki murakami has released a new book , after dark..his style melts my heart..he is from kyoto that i like so much..kyoto the famous place for geisha..i met once a geisha out there , she had no time for me to take a foto for her as she was running with here musical instrument by the river trying to reach the place of her work with her mentor..something here keeps me attached to japan ,don't know what ,but i like it here..i know am a good person myself and i can see people enjoying my company even-i swear to god-there is no communication except by hand gestures..even if i speak in english and the other party speaks japanese, the communication is still in the air..this is so funny ..still i do not know what will be my next step..i have seen a dream i wish this will tell something , i was entering a room full of japanese people they were praying the muslim prayers and i have seen kids and one of them , a little girl , was holding my hand , she was dressed with a beautiful white dress decorated with the flowers that i love...do not know what this dream holds but i felt something in my heart that may be something good will happen..i do not know ..but i wish from all my heart i wil get something good weither here or somewhere else..amein

waiting to live another day

a major changes have occured in my room..i changed the place of my mattress we dah change strateigi 3ashan my brother beyenzel men el sotou7 elli nayem feih we yerou7 dayes feya 3ala toul..el always elli ma3aya el 3eyal beyla2ato menno wala ka2eino bonbon,mesh 3arfa lamma yekhlas 7anzel ageibo men fein hena..betestahbelo ?...ma 3aleina mesh 7anekhsar ba3d 3ala always..momken 3ala aklet samak akhsarko..el professor -ya rab yeb2a beta3i-elli ba3atello el cv wel protocol ma7atesh manta2 men sa3t ma ba3adt el email..la askat allah laka 7esan ya kobaiiashii ...27yat el nabi ma te7agar ma3aya ya sheikh we 2mdi ba2a 3ala el mowaf2ah..2mdi ya kobaiiashii..this is our moto these days..2mdi ya kobaiiashii..fakart yemken kelmet 2mdi dee 3amla 3okosat..fa 2olt 2obsom ya kobaiiashii..la2eit my brother beyed7ak, 2alli enti 3arfa enohom mesh beyemdo , bey7otto khetm..zai el fala7ein elli beyobsomo bel khetm beta3hom , mesh ba2oloko feih sa3ayda hena..khalas ya kobaiiashii wala tez3al , 2khtem ya kobaiiashii

la scelta,el ba7s bel italy

here i am still on the floor of my room after the meeting with the professor in the lab..don't know actually does he really need me yes or no ?..he asked about my cv and i must present my aim of study to him by email tomorrow morning..sitting on the floor with the pc in between my legs zai el batta elli betetzaghat ..bada3bes 3ala el topic beta3 el stem cell and cancer stem cell..listening to a love song with korean language,mesh fahma wala kelma bass el song gameila..el akl etlasa3 wel cream caramel etsab fel talaga le7ad ma 3amal green color -as a topping,lol..ghasalt el ghaseil wel oda lessa mekarkeba..hena komet el papers we hena el aflam..metalega 3ala el akher we bardo fat7a el shobak..the two pumpkins of halloween are still on the tv set , the flower is outside fel balakona takhod bard ba2a..pocari sweat water infront of me..am still opening the word to write my aim of study..rabena el mehawen ..i guess i have gained the approval of one doctor , but the head of surgical departement howa elli 3aleih el 3ein , eza 2al yes , i will proceed..weza 2al no,7alem el khalagat fee bo2ga wanzel 3ala masr and enjoy my life 3ala el kahwa..taba3an ma3a el 3awd el 2a7mad le okayama, el es-hal sharaf..ya ahlan wasahlan..omal eza kont 3aysha fee hiroshima kan 7asal eh?..kont 7aftas mel el 7arr fee kyoto,here in okayama am cold..i wish i can present a good paper , allahoma amein

what makes my heart melt

am now on the floor,my bed..just came back home to okayama from osaka after visiting kyoto and nara..staying in kyoto made me see lots of things that made my heart melt..when i entered the kyoto station ,unlike hiroshima in which i felt something very respectful ,i kept smiling and giggling with laughters actually ..millions in kyoto station ..suddenly i heard the bells ringing, i left my eyes up and here i saw a groom ringing a large bell in kyoto station telling all these millions that he is getting married..i have entered st.marc caffee in kyoto downtown..i saw a man sitting with his woman..he is shy , can not express his feelings to her..he kept nodding his head while she is speaking..i felt she is telling him that she is having hard times,he kept nodding his head and saying so so so , which means yes i agree..then he has patted on her left shoulder with an incredible kindness that i have never encountered in my life..his eyes in one look told the girl lots of things..my eyes were filled with tears and my brother asked me what is up?..people hugging each others with respect in the crowded subway or on the crowded electric escalador..this does not hurt any one's feelings..on the contrary ,this was so romantic ,it filled my heart with joy..what makes my heart melts too is that the shyness i see in the eyes of japanese guys..the black silky hair is so attractive and when i look in their eyes ..they give me one look and then the look to the ground or anywhere else but not my eyes..i look aside , he looks back at me..then i look immediatly in the eyes with a smile and he smiles back..they are nice , they want to know you as a foreigner but they are afraid and shy they will not be able to communicate..they do communicate so well with this attitude, this fills me with joy and i know if i will be able one day to speak japanese , am sure i will know lots of them to enjoy life here in okayama..i know people who were originally farmers but they directed towards business,are nice and earth bound so they will not hurt one's feelings specially that am a foreigner..looking at the cultivated lands when i first arrived here made me feel safe...coz land equals kindness , patience and acceptance and easy going spirit..i know if japanese guys will get over their shyness, they will be the sexiest men on earth...i have to get some sleep..i wish i will hear good news in the coming few days , allahoma amein

being in kyoto

tele3na el gabal el 3ali lamma kont 7a3ayat wallahi ,walla yemken 3ayatt ..bass elli kan basetny enni mesheit fee shaware3 kyoto, the capital before tokyo,ＳＨＡＷＡＲＥ３ＨＡ　ＥＬＬＩ　ＥＴＳＡＷＡＲ feiha memoires of a geisha, i bought the novel from maruzen book store back in okayama...am now in the student hostel in kyoto we reglaya mewaramma men el mashii..3awzein maya we mal7 fee tesht yabani ..today we went to nara ,the old capital ,it was nice and the weather was fine..have been eating in mac donald:s 3ashan mafeish da3i le eshal fee west el ma3abed keda.. ..7araga3 any way..questions in the hostel about why i do wear a head cover lamma zehe2t men el gahl elli hena...salamat men kyoto

prayer

i wish from all my heart ,by next monday,i will get something ..i have lost a lot in egypt though i tried my best..i decided to start searching in another land,GOD you said so in quran..am doing it GOD and it has been hard at the beginning..you know i cried a lot at first..in the streets,in the supermarket..i know you heard me crying hard and out loud in the small room in plaire by the window..it has been hard in my home country and it is still hard..i do not know which way is right..i know you will guide me through this hard time..i do that for my future..i know by next week ,you will totally reveal your plan for me..even if i get nothing, i kneel in front of you , thanking you for letting me see such a beauty that you created..even if i get nothing,help me to find my way through all these roads you have created..amein

outfit

bashouf sa3at hena nas labsein keda fel share3..what can i do ? i just look and smile and thank GOD for creating such persons..in plus , they are business men..bass ana mesh 3arfa fein el muslim community hena el sara7a ,yemken el naseib yeb2a ma3a wa7ed yabani moslem ebn nas,allaho a3lam,bass el mohem ashouf 7ali hena el awel 7ayemshi ezai , welnaby ya rab sahelha

in heaven

i could not beleive i could find such beauty and grace in south east asia
thank you GOD for not creating us looking like the same..and thank you again for creating asia and letting me see it..daniel henney thank you for lightening our days down here in okayama ,you even made people at the lab feel alive ..i would have married you only for your smile..maleish naseib ma3ak fel donia i know that ,we are tottaly different in many aspects..but i swear to GOD, if i will be able to step into heaven,i will not search for you in there..i will make you beg for me :>..lol

sob7an ALLAH

the best korean movie i have seen till now,starring daniel henney

the cutest movie ever..i have never thought that koreans could be that cute and handsome..that is why their movies are very well known in japan..daniel henney is dashing as usual..just write robin and minjune seducing mr perfect on you tube and watch the pix taken from the movie while listening to a nice slow korean song..on youtube also write daniel henney kissing me to listen to the song from the movie..daniel henney is as always,like the sun between the stars

recommendation

wallahi i recommend to any one willing to come and visit japan like me right now to watch first the movie 'lost in translation',3ashan exactly what has happened to both actors has happened to me..i watched this movie ba3d el7a7 shadeid men my brother 3ashan lazem ashouf el film dah , ezai mashoftoush we howa men sanat 2003 ta2reiban? so i watched the movie and i laughed a lot coz this movie is very true , it reflects life here in japan..yes i cried a lot when i first arrived here, but little by little i gained my courage and started enjoying what i do have here specially that i will go back home inshallah after few weeks...i also recommend watching the movie called'rebecca',laurence olivier is the actor, a very old movie since ww2 , i guess was released in 1940 or 1944..worth watching

2s-halco

mesh 3arfein eh el nezam walla eh el sabab fel 2s-hal elli masekna kolena hena..7atta talabna consultation men baba hanno el almani 3ashan howa doctor rad 3aleina we 2al dee 7asaseya fel gehaz el hadmi..bendawar el sara7a 3ala sabab el es-hal we mesh 3arfein..mo3zam kalamna 3anno 7atta we7na benakol..ana weselt le decision enenna nastamer fel akl 3adi we nata3amal ma3a el es-hal be 7ob we 2olfa 3ashan howa ba2a sadekna el 3azeiz le daraget enni law magaleish es-hal fee yom ba7es enni fee 7aga mela7wesa na2sani..7anastamer fel akl el yabani 3adi ma3a ta3weid el sawa2l wel amla7 elli betdei3 fel 2s-hal...el wa7ed fee masr lamma kan beygeilo es-hal kan beyeb2a feih mokademat..hena la2..betkoun 3adi we laziz we mashi fel share3 aw el supermarket zai el basha we fee sanya-ah wallahi-tela2i 7aga geryet fee batnak we 7ate3mel 3ala ro7ak 3ala el akher..el 7alaw ba2a enn lamma tetzene2 fel share3 mafeish 2odamak ella el 7amam el baladi ya 7elw..2amma ba2a law mama da3yalak, tela2i bedee 3adi zai betou3 el bani 2admein we beshatafa we eh kaman , el 2a3da awel ma 7adretak to23od beteskhan 3ashan el poppo ma yakhodsh bard we lamma te2oum, el seifon yedrab lewa7do..te2oum gari men el 7ammam wenta betsammi..mal7ouza: ana ga3ana wel gaw bard ,balbes el dolab kollo we lessa kaman el bard elli howa magash

intermission

begad ,this is my first time to see asian guys..they look awsome ,not all of them ,the majority is average,but in between you find guys that are so attractive..i remember while shopping at the ito yokado -www.itoyokado.jp- i was pushing my carello and suddenly i have got the glimpse of an attractive-actuallay extremely attractive -with a bit tall slightly slim body figure with a face that i thought it was bright with light..i opened my mouth at this view as this was chocking el sara7a ,and i kept looking at him-heya dee el fetna ya so3ad-while pushing my carello le7ad ma laza2t fel 7eita el sara7a ..khabat fel 7eita wallahi we kont 7awa2a3 stand we keda..ana delwa2ti ma3andeish mane3 atgawez yabani el sara7a talama mozz we zai el 3asal..wa7ed keda yeshre7 el 2alb..welnaby elli ye2ra el post dah yerou7 3ala youtube we yekteb daniel henney,bean pole commercial with gwyneth paltrow ..7ate3rafo 2ad eh some asian guys are extremely attractive..2w3edna ya rab

road to HIROSHIMA -pix from the A-bomb site

road to HIROSHIMA -part 4 ruins from the past

the tram has stopped exactly in front of the A-bomb site,the old building that remains from the hiroshima bomb attack..its walls are still there holding the marks of what has happened ..ruins of the building are kept since the day they were bombarded..the japanese decided not to get the building down and preserve it..they surrounded the building with trees and fence,not to be crossed..but you are allowed to take photoz..i moved around the building and looked at it...this is the real blast from the past..the building has touched a part deep in my heart that made me feel not that i want to cry but i felt deeply sad..i kept repeating el fat7a to the people that were immediatly killed when the bomb was thrown on them,they melted or evaporated..i know that my feelings were shown on my face ,so a japanese girl hugging her boy friend just smiled at me , a hearty smile as if telling me that it is oki now ..her boyfriend was not a japanese..people from all over the world were there in hiroshima..what kept my eyes attached to the building is the presence of birds on its top that stay very silent and calm..as if they are crying over the ruins..i asked myself , are these birds some kind of souls coming back to earth to look at the place where they were killed?..do not know , but this birds'presence is so strange..the building was the opening door to feel free to step backwards into the past

road to HIROSHIMA -part 3 first step into hiroshima station

i said out loud ohhhh bradpitt in hiroshima ..then i went to buy cola and onigari-ice ball with tuna or salmon fish- before entering the town itself...then we took the tram,modern town exactly copy cat from every part in japan , same products,same machines ,same transportation but people are more friendly..hiroshima is an international place so people there are getting used to foreigners..you can find japanese smiling at you and some others telling you hi or bye while smiling happily..i have fallen in love with hiroshima actually..it has made me look into the past..ready for the coming attraction ?

road to HIROSHIMA -part two:pix from the train

road to HIROSHIMA -part one

i was told that if i can not withstand to go there , i must not..but i did,i went there..all people here told me it is hard to go there ,but we did ..i will not see tokyo , but i have to see hiroshima , who knows when will i see japan again ?..they told me it is hard on a person, all foreigners come from hiroshima very tired and emotionally exhausted..i answered we will go ..and then we went..i know it is hard..so i watched a movie on saturday , it was the birds, the girl in it by her adventurious spirit elevated my mood the night of travel to hiroshima..by chance i have found a tribute for cary grant on you tube with ingrid bergman in notorious movie, the song kept me safe and happy inside..i kept repeating it over and over while i was preparing the dinner and had coffee..i slept for few hours only to wake up early to take the train from okayama to hiroshima..the song was still playing in my head...

howa feih eih ?

tenzel el share3 wel denia bard..wenta mesh labes te2eil ya3ni..shetwy 3adi zai elli benelbeso fee masr..terga3 el beit hodoumak mabloula men el 3ara2..7ad welnaby yefasarli el zahera dee, ezai albess shetwy 3ashan el denia bard same time el wa7ed beyeb2a sweaty 3ala el akher? ezai el denia betkoun betmatar we daraget el 7arara 12 el sob7 we 6 beleil we 3andak bard we mesh sokhn we bardo bete3ra2?!!,ezai teb2a el denia bard wel rotouba 60 % ?!!!! 7ad welnaby yerod 3ala el as2la dee eza kan 3aref , ma3a gazeil el shokr..we kaman ya reit 7ad yeb3atli dawa 2shal men masr..3amar ya masr 3amar ya yaban..el derasat el 3olya hena kolaha 3ala el wara2 mamnou3 lams 3ayan 3ashan el 3ayan mesh beyetkeshef 3ala dakatra foreigners..ya khosara el 7elw ma yekmalsh wallahi

okayama from above

an event near maruzen and korakuan garden ,maruzen is the biggest store for books in okayama

the owl , famous here but unlike the cat which is extremely famous and everywhere

okayamajo castle ,reconstructed after ww2

kimono for wedding

kimono

2008 is the year of the rat , merry xmas,2007 was the year of the pig

kimono store , one can reach 50 000 egptian pounds

markets and green tea store

green tea icecream store ,210 yen each

more and more flowers

flowers

the best sushi bar ever, german guy treat :thank you for the lovely sea food salad

plasma tv at the ito yokadu,biggest store in okayama

all made in china ,the biggest surprise

felix the cat